A Warning for the Humanists

Mankind is enjoying a sort of awakening of their humanity recently, and I'm delighted to see more and more people coming forward and being counted amongst the rational, the logical and those who reject superstition over evidence and inquiry. This is good, this is what advances mankind further along in its journey of being.

However, I have a warning for my humanist brothers and sisters: It is with caution and reserve that we should fly our colors, and be vigilant in the observation of the religious movements in government. Honeyed words, cloaked in the mantle of reason will disguise true motives, such as Ron Paul's sleight-of-hand trick with Roe v. Wade, Mitt Romney's used-car salesman approach to covering up his Mormon agendas, or Newt Gingrich's outright demand that everyone bow and scrape before the cross of the one true God.

Not for them is the peaceful, logical and compassionate resolution of natural disaster, biological disruption or severe misfortune of the masses. They will not have it that bad things happen for no reason, and an Earthquake in Haiti means the island lies on an unpredictable fault line - not that God is punishing these devil-worshiping Negroes for some imagined sins. The logical fallacy, the unsolvable paradox of simultaneously campaigning that "All life is sacred", whilst their policies decree "Any who don't obey us must die" is always a three card monte illusion that will suffice for the majority of the voting public who don't realize the deeper implications such leaders will bring to the table, once it's too late to stop them.

Just you watch: The unforeseen tsunami, the random tectonic event coupled with a war on foreign soil and a drought here in America, and we'll be reduced to hellfire, brimstone and prophecy that was mass-copied out of unrelated selections from the book of Revelations. We shall have finger-pointing, mass hysteria and an uncountable number of charlatans wearing a cross proclaiming the end of days.

Just let the lights go out for more than ten minutes, and things start going bump in the dark...people will drop to their knees and begin muttering fervently and crying their crocodile tears in the hopes of avoiding divine retribution.

And then, driven utterly insane by their lizard-brain paranoia and unrequited prayer-groveling, they will begin to look for someone to burn in hopes of getting God's attention, or securing God's forgiveness. They will cast stones and rally together, shrieking; "See! We warned you! You let in the niggers! You let women kill their children! You took the heathen religions as your own! This is what you get, and you've made us suffer with you!"

This is ever the swan song of the apologist-turned-zealot, and there is no reasoning with such people; the lizard is now in charge. Those who would be happy enough to stay on their side of the fence and let the world turn peaceably on its own cannot be counted on to take a stand, indeed, it is the yielding branch that survives the gale-force wind. No, any who say "Live and let live" in times of peace will be amongst the first to crawl into a deep hole and wait out the storm, rather than be seen defending a nonbeliever. 

And then they will begin dreaming up reasons why everyone else but them should suffer, and how gloriously they can prolong the suffering of the innocent for the sake of their God.

Just you watch.

T.a.T. update patch 2.0

It's been more than a year since I've done any work on the blog. I'm redesigning it to make it a little less 2006. Old blog posts may lose their images temporarily while I pull my stuff off of that fucking shithole Photobucket.

When The Best You Can Do Is "Make Do"

Sarah Palin must be laughing her ass off right now...

I am so VERY tired of politics. Honestly, I don't see how politicians stand it for so long…Is the complete worship of impotence really that attractive?

I was looking over the list of candidates the other day, and I have to admit; we're in for some fucking bleak-assed days ahead. Like reading a menu in a restaurant that specializes only in recycled, three-day old food: Nothing looks good.

With the attempted privatization of Social Security and the now active NDAA, I have lost all faith in chocolate Jesus. (And believe me, I was RIDING HIS DICK beforehand.) I wanted to so desperately believe that he would at least attempt the job we had elected him for. I didn't vote for him because he was black, I didn't vote for him out of sympathy, and I didn't vote for him because "anybody is better than Bush". (Anybody probably WOULD have been, but that's not why I voted.)

The current problem I'm facing is that there is NOBODY on the bill that I would currently vote for over Obama. I mean, there is no "lesser of two evils" here...If Satan himself showed up on the ballots, he'd have a damn good chance for my vote, at this point.

Mitt Romney? Yeah, right - the day I vote for a Mormon will be the exact same day I stick a loaded gun up my ass and try to shave my taint with the barrel. The Mormon cult has gone a long way in at least covering their racist heritage, if not truly eradicating it. They put on smiles that would make a used car salesman envious, and glad-hand their preposterous beliefs under the cover of "family values" better than any zealot I have ever encountered. Their apologists are amongst the finest you will ever meet.

And they simply cannot wait to rescind emancipation, reduce women back into non-status and burn every homosexual in a slow-roasting pit.

Rick Santorum? You...You ARE joking, right? There's a reason his last name is synonymous with the most disgusting body fluid known to man. Ricky S., like all his opponents except Obama, is standing tall on the soapbox that God wants him to be the next leader of the free world, so they can "bring back family values". The problem being…Who the fuck wants a family like Rick Santorum's?

If his stance on gay marriage wasn't bad enough, his ideas about "Health Care Reform" qualify him as the single most retarded congressman running...right behind (see below)

Newt Gingrich - His name is Newt, and he's as delusional about God as Pat Robertson after a three week bender. He's as two faced about the Republican "family values" (so-called) as he is triple-jowled and disgusting. No more need be said.

And finally, Ron Paul. I will admit, I hadn't done much research about the man, prior to last month. But after hearing a few of his more Obama-esque speeches, I figured he deserved due shrift before I wrote him off. For the most part, I actually like what Ron Paul has to say…less interference from government at the federal level, closing of foreign bases, cutting to the core of our over-trampled legislature. He seems to be more grounded in reality than the other candidates, Obama included.

…Except, again – his religion. As both a Christian and an ob-gyn physician, Ron Paul is a staunch pro-lifer. So much so that he fully intends to overturn Roe Vs. Wade.

 

*sound of my support flying out the window*

All the other candidates want to do this as well, by the way – except Obama. He's just going to get us all black-bagged and held without trial. But overturning Roe V Wade would undo decades of struggle for women everywhere in America to choose whether or not to have a child. Leave out cases of rape or incest, many people get pregnant and simply cannot afford to raise a kid, ior aren't ready for one at that stage in their lives. Nothing more needs be said.

One of Ron Paul's more frequent quotes when defending his position on abortion is that "the morality changed" in the 60's, and people decided to take a different path in dealing with pregnancy.

Well, no…the morality didn't "change" - The morality evolved. Like it did in the mid 1800's, like it did in the early 1900's, and again in the early 1950's.

But, like all "Good Christians"…Ron Paul doesn't believe in evolution. Ergo, something great cannot have risen from something less.

This is truly at the heart of what bothers me about Ron Paul; he seems perfectly content to reduce the decades-long struggle women went through just to have the right to clean, safe abortions.

Understand…If you overturn Roe V Wade, there will STILL BE ABORTIONS. Just unsafe, back-alley cloak-and-dagger affairs, such as we had in frequency before the 1970's. And people will die – both women and their babies.

Why do pro-lifers feel so concerned with "the sanctity of life" only BEFORE it hits the birth canal? Where the fuck were these people when I was growing up in an orphanage? I didn't see anyone rushing to protest the children being cast off, hustled through the system and left to rot in some cell until they were 17. Either they're just a bunch of God-crazy hypocrites, or pants-on-head retarded where the true value of life is. Either way, they have no business outside an abortion clinic. But then again, stupidity is SUCH an elemental force.

...So, I just don't know. I'm extremely disappointed in Obama (This must be how Obi-Wan felt, after slicing off Anakin's legs..."You were supposed to bring BALANCE to the budget, not destroy it!") but despite the bullshit - he's still the better choice than what's up for grabs at the moment. I don't approve of everything he's done, and some of his actions teeter between blatant disregard for the country he's supposed to be leading to shocking naivety about how politics really works. Either he's incompetent, or still struggling with his presidential baby steps, I can't tell which.

*SIGH*

This would be a fantastic time for the Great Beast to rise and conquer the Earth. It would make voting easier, at least.

Inside New Bethany

The first book dealing with New Bethany children's ministries is out.

Right out the gate, let me warn you: This wasn't a story of the triumph of good over evil. Steven Spielberg didn't write this script, and there was no friendly alien/police chief/German sympathizer to swoop in and save the day. The stories are exclusively focused on the emotional survival of children who have been traumatized, and some of the details are almost too much to take.

My brother, in a casual conversation with his then-girlfriend several years ago, offhandedly mentioned a couple of the punishments I had to endure that I had related to him. After a minute or two of listening, she looked him in the eye and said "You're making this up - nobody would allow that. No parent would do that to their children".

This is a recurring song on the hit parade of reality that many survivors face: Object disbelief. Without fail, parents, siblings, spouses and friends are averse to facing a tenth of the horror we faced every day, some of us for years on end. The argument is always the same; No "Christian Ministry for Children" could REALLY be that cruel, that sadistic, that...insane.

Ah, but they can - and often do - with impunity. Which is the other point I wanted to make here: They got away with it. The people who did this are still running camps, abusing children, preaching hellfire and brimstone. No one was punished. When one camp was closed by the state, another was opened two states away UNDER THE SAME NAME. No closure was ever given. Rifts between families and their children grew to uncrossable proportions.

The point is that some of us managed to pick up the pieces and rebuild our lives. We learned to trust again. We learned to find strength within ourselves (as any true survivor does) and carry on in spite of our circumstances.

The stories are told entirely from the female resident's point of view, and that's perhaps partially my fault - of the male survivors, few of us are willing to bring the ghosts back to life (there is an alarming suicide rate amongst New Bethany survivors, and many more are emotionally traumatized into a kind of "willing amnesia").

Fewer still care to go on record about events within the compound, myself included. There are no heroes in the story of New Bethany, just residents. By the time I was convinced it was the right thing to do (thanks in no small part to Teresa Lynn Frye, a fellow survivor & friend) the book was out.

Still, it's a worthy read, and a rare look at the inside of the cultish southern religious camps that many families turn to for "help" when a son or daughter might be going through nothing more than typical adolescence...and the price those children pay.

You can buy the book here: Inside New Bethany

Couple Things On My Mind...

Wake Up, Martial Arts In America

The Martial Arts are coming of age in America, and with them are some ingrained, reflexive habits wearing the guise of "tradition" that are better done away with. To the casual observer, there is an interesting dichotomy in the varying levels of respect in the martial arts among students, masters and the average man (or woman). Behavior and inference we accept in the martial arts world would be held in the lowest regard in any other aspect of normal life.

For instance; I was standing in line to get some coffee this morning from a sidewalk vendor, and another man bumped into me as he turned around.

"Pardon me" he said, "I didn't realize you were there"

"It's no problem" I replied "No harm done"

What I found to be amazing about this is that the gentleman didn't threaten me, insult my system, say distasteful things about people I knew or try to have his children attack me. Nor did I. We just smiled, got our coffee, and went about our merry way. I don't even think he knew any martial arts.

As I look around the world of martial arts, I see that there are some people who simply don't get enough coffee. Or maybe they get too much.
 

Some people have to proclaim themselves to be the king of the hill, and this syndrome has only exacerbated as the years have gone by. Some must have the loudest voice, no matter how much - or how little - they really know. They constantly make fools of themselves with the continuous slander of people they have never met, ongoing accusations and rumor mongering to paint themselves in a better light, or repetitious postings that do nothing more than re-arrange the exact same words over and over. This must stop, if we (as martial artists) are to go any further. Only in the martial arts is this kind of nonsense tolerated. In any other case, people would be fired, dismissed, court-martialed or DISCIPLINED. But because it comes from a "World respected (really?) teacher" everyone assumes that it must be accepted behavior.

I was once told that you don't need a mouth to do Martial Arts. One has but to look around on ANY discussion board and see that this is probably for the better. One rotten apple,as they say, spoils the bunch. An untrained, ordinary man on the street can accomplish what a well known martial arts instructor cannot, and probably has no hope of ever achieving: HUMILITY.

My Philosophy

While I'm on the subject...I don't believe in shortcuts in the Martial Arts. Either put in the work, or get the fuck out of my way. None of my students have ever heard me say "That's enough, you don't need to do anymore. You can stop there. You have all you need."

Doing a thing with minimal effort often produces substandard results, and I see evidence of this everywhere; Cooking, education, I.T., and especially martial arts. I don't believe you can streamline your training to avoid "time in grade" work on the floor, and even if it were possible, I would reject such training out of hand. I don't honestly believe anyone really "masters" a thing at all, but you have to take various levels of competence to new heights. You must ask yourself; "What level of incompetence am I willing to settle for"?

The only way to learn how to fight - is to fight. Anything less, and you are wasting your time.

Farewell, Eureka

It's official. After years of faithful support, subscription and belief that something good was on the horizon - I have once again been left to my own devices. The Sci-Fi channel (which the bottom-feeders have deigned to rename) has decided to cancel "Eureka". Probably the second-best show on television today. Certianly the best show on the Sci-Fi channel.

You know...I remember when the Sci Fi channel first came out, there was all kinds of good shit on it; MST3K (the new episodes), Painkiller Jane (the original one) The Invisible Man (AWESOME SHOW!!) Frank Herbert's "Dune", The Secret Adventures of Jules Verne and a dozen others. You could catch some serious B-Grade Sci Fi movies on late night, and they always had a showcase for new entries into the bizarre, the mysterious and even the frickin' hilarious (Tripping the Rift debuted here).

In the early part of the millennium, the channel went through what I like to call the "Stargate Phase". Stargate SG-1 was showing several hours of the day, and Farscape seemed to take up the rest of it. There were some gems, of course..."Children of Dune" came out around this time, and gave me hope for the future of the channel I had grown to love. You could catch reruns of "The Night Stalker", or the new "Battlestar Galactica", or check out "Friday the 13th - The Series" before watching a Twilight Zone episode. It was everything a channel with the words "SCI-FI" in it was supposed to be.

Alas, those the Gods wish to destroy, they first make angry (Or proud, depending on which translation you read). First came the programming directly from some producers' ass: The remake of Flash Gordon, Scare Tactics (Shannon Doherty was REALLY hard up for work) and my all-time favorite: "Being Human". (Except, it was an American remake. Which sucked HUGE balls.) Anime Mondays wasn't great, and they seemed to be employing people from other networks (Why the fucking shit was Law and Order shown on Sci-Fi?!??)

WWF wrestling on late night programming. As if that wasn't travesty enough, they lined up a cooking show (WTF?!?!?) for the early-morning crowd. And all those poltergeist - ghostbusters - talk-to-your-dead-relatives shows...a doom herald if ever there was one.

And then they changed the name:

Like Jesus...I am weeping. I'm sorry. I really am. But it will be a cold fucking day in southern India AND Hell before I call this genre that I love so much THAT. Lord, but that name reads like a disease you catch between your toes. This from Wikipedia: "Syfy, in several languages, does not suggest imagination or science fiction so much as the syphilitic^"

A quick look at future programming reads like an MTV lineup after they introduced "The Real World"; Ten "Reality TV" shows, and three original pilots planned.

Ten Reality TV shows.

On Sci Fi.

Fucking TEN.

That's ten more than needed, or I can tolerate.

So, after an 18 year love-affair with this network...Farewell. Perhaps someday, the network execs will wake up and realize why this channel was so popular when it came out, and like MTV, has lost the glossy coating and mass-appeal it once had.

...Then again, this is Hollywood we're talking about. Might as well be Mars, for all the sense they make.

On the other hand...Maybe it's time?

Hey Ya!

 When The World Is On Your Shoulders, You Gotta Straighten Up Your Act And Boogie Down

-Michael Jackson

Well, as some of you might have heard, the wait is over: I finally have scraped enough together to get my spinal surgery. I have to say, after the past three and a half years of disappointments, outright lies, insincere medical advice and outright quacks, I've almost talked myself OUT of getting it. But it's going to happen now, and we're working out hotel accommodations and medical transportation this week. After that, it's a small wait for the flight out - about two months - and this boy's back in India for the first time in 18 years. Only I won't be going to meet brown women.

Here is a funny thing - Once I actually had the cash in my hands, I began a training regimen to get myself in the best shape I could for surgery. This isn't easy when you're actually in pain from a disc herniation, and any exercise at all could send you into a back spasm. I do a two-mile circuit around my house in the afternoon, a bit of yoga afterwards and as much flow work as I can.

Oh, and I stopped drinking. It won't be altogether, mind you, I love Chimay FAR too much for that...But the heavy consumption is off completely, and I'm not putting anything down my gullet alcoholic until after my surgery. I'd hate to get on the operating table and they have to give me near coma-inducing levels of anesthetic in order to knock me out. I thought it might be harder than it was, after three years of practically bathing in Gin and Rum...but I'm currently two months off the bottle without so much as a glance backwards. This costs me heavily in pain tolerance, but being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel makes all the difference in the world. You'd be surprised what you can suck up and bear when you know there's going to be a break  in the clouds sooner or later.

Once I stopped the full-scale assault on my liver & managed to get within shouting distance of my right mind, a friggin' billion things started bubbling out, almost too fast to commit to paper. I feel like I've re-committed to being a writer, not just a blogger with a smart-assed remark for everything. I find myself interjecting into Joel's classes more, making tiny corrections to his already excellent instruction, and putting myself back into the captain's chair. Something else that occurs to me is my school; Simply put, I'm more than a little apprehensive about teaching again. I look over the past 11 years the school has been open, and I see so much wasted time and effort, with very little payoff in finished students. Also, there are a few people I want to go train with & dedicate some time as a student again, without the burden of command on my back. It's a tough call, but if I do decide to continue the Edmonds Martial Arts Academy, I'll definitely have to change the way I do business in the future. (Maybe just stop traveling there and instead teach in the present. Hah! *SNORT!*)

It's RAWR!

The new Hells' Kitchen is underway, and I have to admit I'm fucking addicted to this show. I really empathize with Gordon Ramsay, he wants perfection and is willing to skewer small children and roast them with a light vinaigrette to get it. What he lacks in tact, he also lacks in volume control, but what he doesn't lack is talent. I've watched his videos for years now - Kitchen Nightmares is my all-time favorite - and the man knows how to boil an egg. It's funny to watch him go on a rampage and throw food in the kitchen and scream "It's RAWR!" at contestants, but it's also pretty amazing to see them grow into good chefs...some of them, at least.

But why does he always look like he has to pee really bad? The dude's always twitching about nervously when he's talking on camera. Fucking makes ME want to go to the bathroom, just out of sympathy.

Internal Martial Arts

Gaah, I've tried so hard to hold off on this post. But  the trend seems to be pointing towards it, and the latest troll infestation on other sites usually goes something like "Bobbe didn't learn the INTERNAL aspects of (Pa Kua, Pencak Silat, Whatever) so he can't possibly know what he's talking about."

Internal Art practitioners have, for years, thumbed their noses at that helpless sap; The American Martial Artist. Even the American practitioners. They have this strange get-out-of-explaining-yourself card they play whenever one of them eats a punch or something. Someone recently threw a video up of a supposed "Ki Master" taking a full-on shot to the nads, and the guy doesn't flinch. Just stands there, takes the shot, looks like he's bored. Take a look on the link below:

KICK TO THE NADS

Now, I'll be the first to admit - this appears pretty impressive. The ability to absorb an impact to the family jewels without suffering pain? That's a skill to have!

...Or is it?

I know, they give a pretty good explanation (so-called) of how he was able to do this, but...I smell a rat. Sorry, but I do. And as a man who is currently facing spinal surgery for training in the "Old Style Hard Ways" without any apparent problems for almost 15 years, I have a few questions here: What are the long-term affects of such training? Does this man have actual functioning gonads? Has he lost any sensitivity in the groin? Is he able to maintain an erection, produce sperm, pee without pain?

This kind of thing seems to be an EXCEPTION, not a RULE. I have to question if this is a skill you can carry with you into older age, or if we're looking at a freak of nature. I also have to wonder if this kind of thing requires "special circumstances" to work under. Harry Houdinin could withstand a full-on punch to the stomach, and proved it for years...Until a freak sucker punch ruptured his appendix and he died.

And that business about "Breath Control", and "Controlling the flow of oxygen in your blood"...WHAT HORSESHIT!

Something that the majority of Chi-Gung and Nei Gung charlatans hope and pray is that nobody has taken basic biology in high school.

Something that the gullible kool-aid drinkers in martial arts often forget (or “choose not to remember”) is that they actually DID.

Let’s have a little general knowledge test, shall we?

Inside the red blood cells, the iron has a great affinity for oxygen. It moves by passive diffusion from the alveoli in the lungs into the bloodstream where it binds to the iron groups in the hemoglobin in the red blood cells.

In a nutshell, oxygen enables the cells of the body to release the energy stored as high-energy chemical bonds in our food, and enables them to use that energy to do what cells do: namely, to keep us alive, heart beating, brain thinking, and kidneys turning our Chimays, Martinis and Diet Cokes into unplanned pit stops. Virtually every cell in the body needs oxygen in order to perform its part in the complex symphony of skills and judgment that enables us to drive a car, fly an airplane or perform cunnilingus. Or fellatio. Whatever floats your boat.

Many cells in the body can function for a short time using anaerobic metabolism, or metabolism without oxygen. Alas, the brain and heart, while skilled at many things, are notoriously poor anaerobic performers. Four or five minutes with no oxygen and the brain and heart throw in the towel. This is what happens when, for instance, a person suffers a cardiac arrest and is not resuscitated quickly. There is no flow of oxygen-carrying blood to the brain and other vital organs when the heart is not beating, so they are damaged irreversibly in a very short time.

My point here is that oxygen binds to the iron in our blood and is carried by the BLOODSTREAM to the brain. And since you cannot control said bloodstream…Exactly HOW were you planning on controlling your breath once you've breathed it in? I love hearing terms such as “Iron Shirt Chi Gung”, or “punch, eye tearing, twin dragon hitting the anatomical regions to destroy the muscle anatomical points”. The minute someone uses a phrase like “twin dragons” doing anything other than existing on a Chinese painting, I always throw up a little in my mouth. It’s the opening of the door to some of the most vomitous oogah-boogah hypnotism to be found in the martial arts. “Twin Dragons” indeed…What, did you have a couple of Komodo dragons surgically grafted onto your hands? Oh, you were using that as a euphemism for fists? Well, why not just say FISTS and be done with it?

Oh, that’s right – You wouldn’t look nearly as wise of knowledgeable then, and your students might get dangerously close to actually thinking for themselves. Can’t let that happen. Chaos would reign!

Okay, okay...I'm done bitching for the week. See you guys in a few days.

Piracy on the high seas of the Internet

 You don't tug on Supermans' cape...Or Steve Perrys' residuals.

 

Steve Perry posted a very good article on literary piracy HERE. You should read it, like many of his thoughts on the free-use/abuse of internet piracy and realtime cause and effect, it resonates.

I've been holding back about writing this article for quite a while now for several reasons, the top three being:

1: Not everything on my computer is 100% legal. The porn is, sure, but...I might be found guilty of some form of piracy or another, if you dig through my games collection. Or my music.

2: I'm an author. Maybe not Stephen King - or even Steven Perry - but I AM a working professional, and both my literary and video work has been pirated online.

3: I have some experience with one of the earliest forms of literary piracy. And pulled a sizable paycheck for it as well.

I moved out to Seattle in the late 90's, when the internet dot com business was in full swing. Money was being thrown about like a dwarf trapped in a spin cycle, and the most RIDICULOUS ideas were getting funding to the tune of 300 to 700 million. Yeah, you heard me right. Websites most of you have probably never even heard of, let alone seen, have been funded with enough liquid cash to buy Bolivia. Twice.

Anyone out there remember Kozmo.com? I didn't think so. They did what Ebay now owns, combined with Domino's Pizza...but forgot to charge for it.

Okay, howzabout Ontain.com? No? Well, if you've ever used a Subway express card - or a Starbucks gift card - you can thank both me and the dot-bomb formerly known as ONTAIN. Unfortunately, you couldn't thank our development team for creating the electronic version of Frankensteins' creation. Over 500 million went down on that Titanic, and I never even got a severance check.

But the worst...the absolute WORST...was a little ebook download site called "Contentville.com".

True story:

The first job I got working as a network admin when I moved to this drippy, hippy Disneyland, was for contentville.com. Contentville carried an unbelievable backlog smorgasbord of digital literary works that had been painfully scanned in page-by-page by some intern making $5.25 per hour. They advertised onsite to download  anything literary at half the price; Term papers, speeches, books, you name it. They became (supposedly unwittingly) the Napster of print.

Here's how it worked: Users logged on and typed whatever literary works they were looking for in the search box. The site would return a list of matching documents that, for a fee, could be downloaded. To get the word out, these fuckwaffles spent over 50 MILLION in advertising.

I did lots of outsourcing to other dot coms as well, back in those days. Clients loved me, users loved me, and we were charging SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY it was unreal. I remember my manager telling me a cost estimate was too low, and to "stick another zero on it". Voila', just like that $2000.00 became $20,000.00. Then $40,000. Then $100,000.00. I once charged 1 million dollars to a client for about 4 month's worth of work of 3 guys.

Thing is, I was making only around $55,000.00 per year at that time, so where all that residual money went to, I don't know. It certainly didn't go into my pockets, and our investors never saw a goddam dime. Which made me feel rather taken advantage of. I mean, when you are living alone in Seattle and eating Ramen noodles from your only pot and washing it down with diet Tab because you can't afford anything else...You start to question the powers that be.

And that leads me to one of the greatest screw-fests I have ever been involved in...And believe me, I've seen a few. When I was first hired by contentville, I wanted stock options. Why? To this very day, I have no clue. I only knew that everyone else was getting them, they paid off (supposedly) for your retirement in the future, and then-fledgling Amazon.Com was offering them like crazy. I wanted in on the action. Response from management was "You will receive stock options after one years' employment with this company."

Thats clear enough, right? So I waited patiently, kept my nose clean and worked my ass off pulling 75 + hour shifts to show my dedication. As my 11th month of employment rolled around, I approached my manager and stated that I'd like to get the ball rolling on those stock options.

"What stock options?" he asked.

"Uhhh...The ones you promised me I would receive after one year when I signed on to this job." I replied.

"Well, you're not getting them yet." That fuckroast had the nerve to say.

"But you promised."

"No I didn't".

"Yes, you fucking DID!"

"What I stated was that you would get them after one year of employment...that could mean one year, two years, ten years..."

Can you believe that bullshit? Sadly, this was the typical attitude I had to deal with back in those days. However, before I could tell my boss what to suck and how long to keep at it, something intervened that was practically a left-handed gift from the Gods; The authors and scholars began to discover their works were for sale online...Without their knowledge or permission. And that, my friends, pissed off authors.

Also, some of the content on the site could be obtained for free from originating sites. For example, Village Voice articles. These articles were available for pay on Contentville.com, or for free on villagevoice.com.

And THAT pissed off the paying customers. Over half of whom immediately dropped us upon hearing the news.

As the lynch mob began to gather in the lobby downstairs, the company tried to patch things up...removed articles like those from Village Voice, attempted to funnel royalties to authors for purchased work...and oh yeah, got on both knees and begged me to stay and help fix the problem.

I told them where to stick it, and walked out within the hour. Maybe that had an influence on things, maybe not, but in October 2001 Contentville.com closed its' doors forever.

I've long since turned in my parrot, but I still have the eye patch...And I will. forever remember those heady days in 1998 when network admins ruled the world, suckers paid for shit they didn't need online, and nobody knew how the hell to make a buck from the internet.

Sawney Bean Is Coming To Dinner

Or alternatively: "How I learned to stop worrying and love stomach cancer".

Remember those goofy Capps bubble gum stickers from the 70's? I used to love those things, I thought they were hilarious. I had no idea they were also doomsday prophecies as well.

The food industry is spinning wildly out of control, like a dreidel caught in a blender set to "frappe" whilst being sucked into a black hole...and for once, that's not one of my over-the-top exasperating uses of hyperbole.

25 years ago I had no problem eating meat. I'm a natural-born carnivore, from a long line of proud hunter-gatherers who liked their steak rare and bloody and sucked the marrow from the bone with a satisfying "Snnnerrrkkk!" They would cover themselves in bacon fat (for soft, supple skin) and dance naked in the moonlight 'round a roasting pig on a spit, before engaging in wild sexual acts whilst coated in A-1. I remember when I was just a wee lad, barely old enough to be allowed at the adults table, but listening to the stories and laughter as the grownups spoke with haughty indignation at the thought of the vegetarian, tree-hugging Earth-buddies who would roam the airports in the days before Homeland Security, chanting "Meat is murder...Don't eat things with faces...You are what you eat, moo, moo!" I remember the joys we all felt on Sunday after church, running down some patchouli-scented flower-sucker with our gas-guzzling Chrysler LeBehemoth, before heading home to a Sunday lunch of fried chicken, roast beast and about 32 Lbs of pork in various cuts accenting the table like decorative angles' wings. We scoffed at heart attacks, and diabetes had yet to be invented.

Personally, I like my steaks to arrive at my table with a 50-50 chance of pulling through. I want them so rare and bloody, I can actually taste the death. I want to experience the last few seconds of this poor bovines' life replayed for me as I sink my fangs into its' soft, inviting flesh. If it was hit by a car, I want to be able to identify make, model, and possibly the paint job of the car what done the deed.

Like Leo Sayer sang in All By Myself, "Those days are gone."

Nowadays, shopping in a supermarket without a butcher station is like Russian roulette. I get angry every time I go to the meat aisle. Everything has high fructose corn syrup, fillers, and colors that are obviously fake. The thought goes through my head more often than ever now; "Will I get sick today or be ok?" The meat used to be hay and grass fed with very few hormones. Now it taste different and my body doesn't have a good reaction to it half the time. It doesn't  matter where I get whether it is a supermarket, fast food place (to which I rarely go), or fine dining. The selection is dropping fast. Nothing but garbage.

How many of you out there know what meat glue is? I just discovered it, and I shudder to think about how often I may have ingested it without knowing. For those of you wondering what I'm talking about, check out this little gem:

MEAT GLUE!

B-B-B-B-But wait, it gets worse!!

How many of you out there in Bloggerland know about meat that's treated with CARBON-MONOXIDE to keep it red and "fresh looking"? Hold on to your butts, kiddies, the Curry Thief  isn't done with you yet!

GASSED MEAT!

 Okay...I'm ready to vomit now.

 My new habit is to shop at supermarkets that have an in-house butcher shop, and investigate where the hell places like Sams' Club get their frozen chicken from. Call me paranoid, that's fine...I'll be laughing from the outside of the bathroom door.