Senator John "Damn, Do I Hate The Spics" McCain is running for office of the president. My guess is he's not the only pussy trying to crack the Oval Office (Ha ha! *SNORT*)
Yesterday in good old South Carolina, state of my birth and bane of my existence, Senator Whitebread McCain announced that Donald Rumsfeld is "Going to go down as one of the WORST Secretaries of Defense this country has ever seen".
AW JEEZ, 'YA THINK??!?
Look, I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you: McCain is one of the DUMBEST sons of bitches ever to run for office. I'd put him neck and neck with the Monkey King as the nominee for "Largest Sock Puppet Idiot Ever Produced by the G.O.P." award. Below are more of his most famous prose. Does America REALLY want to be led by the basket case party?
“Do not yield. Do not flinch. Stand up. Stand up with our President and fight. We're Americans. We're Americans, and we'll never surrender. They will.”
We're AMERICANS!! Yay us! No surrender! Let's all die in some nameless desert fighting a war with people we have no business even being in the same country with! Hooray! Thousands dead, with more on the way! Who needed a family anyway? Or a career? Yay us!
Hey, waiterminute, "Stand up with our President"? What the fuck...Does that mean he's actually going to go to Iran and start whopping some ass?!? He's going to see firsthand what a terrible price his ego and arrogance has cost this nation, which he hates so much??
...Oh, you were speaking metaphorically. Sorry.
“We can't disrupt polling places anymore, ... It doesn't serve any purpose. It just makes people mad.”
WHAT?!?! Are you insane? Who will tell the American sheep what to do, where to go, who to vote for? We can't just leave it in thier hands, are you nuts? Good God man! THEY MIGHT JUST WAKE THE FUCK UP IF WE DO THAT!!
“Just stop at one of these construction sites and look and see who those workers are. They're all Hispanic, ... And I bet you they're illegal.”
Wow. Somebody has been drinking too much haterade. Too bad this isn't 1952, or we could make them all drink out of different water fountians and ride in Jim Crow cars, huh?
“Turn yourself in so we can send you back to Mexico, ... It's not going to happen.”
Why don't you turn YOURSELF in, so we can send you back to...Dumbshitsville, I guess that's where you're from? Y'know Johnny-boy, someone REALLY needs to attach a crank telephone to your nuts one day..
“Just by coincidence, Senator Teddy Kennedy and I, in the last couple of days, after several months of negotiations, have reached an agreement for an immigration proposal that we will be putting out next week, ... our proposal is along the lines of make them pay a fine of a couple thousand dollars, make them work for three years, and after three years they can get in the back of the line for a green card and then eventually become citizens.”
Sieg Heil, that's a GREAT idea, mein herr! I'll get Joseph Goebbels on the horn immediately to start the..."Processing"...Yeah, that's what we'll call it...
They actually met coincidentally in a secret safehouse with a well-stocked bar and plenty of fascist rhetoric on hand to keep the evening lively. Really, it was just a chance encounter, one of those random collusions like the kind that happens at Camp David.
“Katrina did not declare a truce on Iraq.”
OH THAT'S RIGHT!!! LOUISIANA IS A PREDOMINANTLY BLACK STATE! I completely forgot about that. Thank Seven Gods we didn't waste too terribly much time, effort and money saving those damned, dumb niggers, eh Senator?
If McCain drowned in the middle of an open sewer in New York during rush hour, would anyone notice?
2 comments:
McCain is the second biggest sock puppet. William Taft was definitely the biggest. Largest. Whatever.
Ahhh McCain....I think he would be the second coming of the same old cavalry....the next election for the Egg Headed derr I mean Oval office nshould be interesting...I'm campaigning for Squiggy.....
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