A couple of nights ago I was flipping through the 9,000 cable channels I own (of which, only 3 are worth a damn: Sci Fi, History & Discovery channels) and somewhere in the mid range of gospel shows I stumbled upon what I can only term as a sleight-of-hand sophistication one step up from child pornography:
A child model show.
This cannot be right.
As smoke poured from my burning retinas, my eyes were subject to images of little girls dressed up like low class prostitutes. Leather mini skirts, leopard print halter tops, spiked high heels–they went the whole nine yards. And the swimsuits…Well, let’s just say there wasn’t much left to actually SWIM in. Each girl walked the runway enthusiastically swiveling her hips for an audience made up of overweight mothers living out their failed lives vicariously through their daughter’s, and pedophiles shifting uncomfortably in their chairs while trying to look nonchalant about staring at pre-teen girls half naked. I started to watch the whole thing, but I realized that if ANYBODY had seen me viewing this, there would be no explanation I could ever give to justify it…None.
If I wasn’t going to Hell before, I’m pretty sure my place is secured there now for witnessing this. They probably invented a brand new level just for me. Seriously, I had to snort liquid plumber to get the images out of my head. I kept thinking the F.B.I. was gonna burst through my front door any minute now and bust me for watching child porn.
Because that’s what it is, you know.
It’s common knowledge that parents can often get a little overbearing with their kids, usually in the name of looking out for their best interest. But I defy anyone to explain the logic behind teaching a girl who has barely learned how to walk on her own to slink her shoulders and look at the men demurely while she bats her eyes. What are you hoping to achieve for your kid, that she latches onto a sugar daddy like you did? Do you think you are living up to some status quo that demands you sacrifice your offspring to the Gods of plastic surgery, makeup and the dream that was Britney Spears?
I wonder if all this perfection would shatter like cheap glass if I screamed loud and long enough.
What kind of person does this to their daughter? Am I just too old to remember, or were girls a lot different when I was...I dunno…8 years old??! Now I know there are mothers out there who are going to disagree with this, but if you train your child to be as shallow and brainless as to believe the wiggling her ass is how to get ahead in life, you deserve ever phone call you’re going to get when she’s a teenage runaway that’s just been busted again for prostitution, and could you post another $3,000.00 bail?
I love ADULT model shows, and anytime an Asian chick gets into a swimsuit and shakes it, yeah, I start drooling.
When an Asian adolescent does the same thing, for some reason I start thinking of firearms.
Some people just don’t deserve children.
4 comments:
As a father of two girls i am 100% with you on this. I have already sharpened my axe and pitchfork....now where do we meet for the lynching.
As the father of 3 girls (one married, one teenager and one preschooler) I am 100% with you. Especially when I keep getting people telling me to enter my youngest in these so-called pageants. No freaking way! That's about the time I started looking for my knife (it would be a gun if I owned one). Seriously, what sick weirdo invented these and where does he live?
Three daughters at that age range...? Damn, Brad, I can't imagine you having any nerves left!!
Plenty of nerve left.
No hair though.....
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