Perception is a funny thing. Who sees things truly, as they are? The way life really is versus the way we think it should be.
The Corinthian philosopher Diogenes was once asked by Alexander the Great what favor he would request of him, and Diogenes replied that he would dearly love it if the great conqueror of nations would stand a little to the left, because he was blocking the sunlight.
Diogenes was the ultimate cynic, he once walked around in broad daylight with a lit lantern in search of an honest man. He only had one ragged set of clothing to wear for both summer and winter, and upon realizing he could drink with his hands he immediately threw away his cups. He never bathed except for the occasional swim in the ocean, and his beard was a wretched entanglement of legend.
Of course, it’s easy to shred Diogenes without breaking a sweat; He lived in the
Even the most insightful, when viewing themselves, seldom see the same things others do. Speaking to a good friend the other day, he mentioned a peculiar characteristic about my teaching style that I never realized. Because it wasn’t something particularly flattering, my first impulse was to dismiss it out of hand. I mean, who wants to accentuate a boil on their ass? It’s a feature, not a bug.
Except, looking at my youtube videos, it suddenly made itself clear to me: I am condescending, to a degree, to people who aren’t as well-versed as myself in things. Such as Martial Arts.
I don’t mean to be. I certainly don’t think less of my students because they have to come to me if they want Pencak Silat (especially seeing as how there aren’t any other teachers of this art within a 50 mile radius of me). I want to give them the knowledge freely, and I think I do so without any self-aggrandizement or secretive nonsense that plagues Martial Arts so badly nowadays. But still…It’s there. The faintest scent of better-than-thou.
Yikes. Wonder how long that’s been going on? I’m sure it’s not the least of my flaws, but it’s a touch surprising that I didn’t notice it. Of course, recognizing that it’s a flaw in the first place is sometimes a step that few are willing to make.
And sometimes, you just can’t help it; that little flaw becomes an insurmountable hurdle to someone else. What you can tolerate in others could just as easily become a deal breaker to them, if the scenario was reversed. I see this one quite often as well; people will hold you some unreasonable standard that they themselves could not maintain if it were applied to them.
“------is a great poet” I said to a friend of my wife’s, who happened to be visiting last month “He had a great ear for music, and language just seems to come so naturally for him.”
“Do you mean S-----? His wife smoked opium.”
“Well, he did himself, on occasion. But I was speaking of his literary abilities.”
“His wife pushed him into it. I couldn’t read anything of his after I heard that. I think she ruined his life.”
I began to get a bit indignant here. “Would the food your cook makes be less delicious because he had an affair with a married woman?”
The woman scowled at me, as if I had dared to contradict her. “Oh, that’s different.”
I was having none of it “It’s exactly the same, isn’t it?” I countered.
“I feel that it’s different.”
When a woman says she feels something, the wise man knows it’s time to shut his trap. At least I could see THAT coming. I cracked another beer.
2 comments:
A few questions/comments:
First, which meaning of "condescending"? Showing that you feel superior; or doing something despite it being beneath your dignity?
If it's the former, then I think a small amount might be acceptable in a teacher *if* they *are* superior, and if it's balanced by the desire to have their students match and exceed them (and willing to admit when that has happened).
If it's the latter definition, that is fun to see in fiction (Chiun, in "Remo Williams: the Adventure Begins") but in reality might be said to result in being a poor teacher because, if teaching is beneath your dignity, then why do you do it, and do you harm your students by it?
You also raise an interesting question regarding art and the behavior of artists: does it matter what their personal life was like if they produced something that you appreciate and/or gives you joy? Before you answer, think about what crimes an artist might commit which would "poison" their work. Does it matter if the artist was an alcoholic or a drug addict? Committed suicide? Was homosexual? What about a child molester? If you think none of the above matters, then you probably separate the art from the artist in every case. If your acceptance of the art applies in some cases but not others, then you simply draw the line someplace different from the woman you described. So, where do *you* draw the line?
(And thanks for making me use my brain ... I've been mentally somnolent lately.)
Well, I don't see the condescension. Teaching from authority is perfectly valid -- here's how it's done presupposes you know how. If you do and they don't, then technically you are allowed to feel superior in this regard because it is true.
Normally, when the term "condescension" is used, it's in the negative aspect -- you appear to be patronizing somebody, i.e. treating them as inferior, and I don't see how that follows from your vids.
Ignorance is not the same as stupidity, and there is no shame in the former. If I don't know something the cure is to learn it.
You could, if you wanted, offer the caveat-method. There are many paths up the mountain, here's the one I like ... I do this all the time when I'm teaching how-to-write-classes. What works for me isn't the only way, but since it does work for me, it's what I have to offer.
Whatever works is fine -- but if you had a way that worked, you wouldn't be taking classes from me, so here's the Perry blue-plate special.
Here are some things to avoid, I say, because they don't appear to work for anybody ...
You speak to a passing parade. Some of the folks who come into your sphere of influence are newbies who have never heard any of it before, and eventually, they will move along and a new group will arrive. If you are a good teacher, the ones who move along will be more informed -- less ignorant -- about the subject you teach them than they were when they arrived.
That said, it is good to stop and take stock now and then because you are afflicted with SGITR (Smartest Guy in the Room) Disease. This can lead to hubris, and you do want to avoid that -- it gets in the way.
In the late eighties movie Broadcast News, Holly Hunter's character Jane is talking to her producer, Paul: She has just made somebody look stupid, he's pissed off, and he says, "It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room!"
To which she says, :"No. It's awful."
Says worlds, that exchange ...
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