Gyros 2 Go is another way of saying orgasm in a pita. I don’t know what the deal is here, specially fed lambs, cocaine in the tzatziki sauce, something, but these guys do Gyros the way Ella Fitzgerald did jazz: Style that leaves you feeling like you just experienced something unforgettable.
Order the masterpiece, it’s the first on the menu. It took me a full hour to finish it, and that’s with a glass of beer and chewing at a relativistic pace. Inevitably, I do what all males do when they eat one of these slices of ecstasy: I cease speaking in English and revert back to Neanderthal grunting and snarling at anyone who comes close to the kill.
The owners are Lebanese, not Greek, so the taste is geared more meat and less feta. Rivulets of drool slobbered down my chin as I watched these brown short-order Gods slice off several herking chops of lamb from the herking huge torpedo of MEAT that was slow-roasting on a spit. They don’t sell Gyros, the sell WHOLE LAMBS! For the life of me, I can’t figure out how they get so much meat into such a modest piece of flattened bread. The #1 could easily feed a family of five trapped in a cave for a month, the falafel is heaven in every bite and the baklava is to put a loaded gun in your mouth, pull the trigger and DIE FOR. In fact, there are actual Baklava sacrifices every Wednesday at noon, if you wish to attend. Bring a virgin.
Back to the shop, they offer a small selection of other middle eastern delights, including salad and dolmades. I had some of the stuffed grape leaves, and they’re not bad, although not the best I’ve ever had. But then again, the best I ever had was in fucking
One thing to keep in mind: It’s “Gyros to Go” not “Gyros to Sit Down and Enjoy in our Closet-Like Establishment”. It’s a Mediterranean take-out joint, and there’s just enough room to order, grab and scarper. The restaurant itself has five tables that seat two each, and with the heavy traffic flow combined with minimal parking, plan on going elsewhere to enjoy these luscious bites of decadent divinity.
Fortunately, Malt and Vine is right next door, and they are to craft beers what Gyros 2 Go is to shaved meat in a pita. And they offer far more seating.
Bring in your Gyro and fries, have a glass of Chimay and enjoy your afternoon.
What the hell else have you got to do?
Gyros 2 Go
16855 Redmond Way
Redmond, WA 98052
(425) 885-0605
5 comments:
please promise we will go here when I visit!
Sure man!
That's it...I'm calling the Discovery Channel with my idea for a new show. The Martial Gourmet. The finest in Food,Beer,and Submissions. Destined to be the number 1 show for men 18-80.
Carl C./ Poor Italian boy
You, me, lamb bits, and ale. Hell yes?
Dude...I'm always like, "Hey Todd, let's go get some roasted meat, a beer, and talk about boobies." And you're always like; "Dude, I can't tonight, Amanda is making me stay home and try on dresses, then we're going to watch "The Ten Commandments" again."
I'm waiting. Whenever you're ready.
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