Sorry if I was a Little Pretentious

Yeowch. I didn’t realize that the blogger voting sites made you jump through so many hoops...My sincere apologies everyone, I hate it when people ask me to do shit like that for them, and I have to apply through 5011 different pages before I get anywhere. If I knew they did that (and I WOULD have known, had I bothered to pay attention) I wouldn’t have asked in the first place. Also, I prefer to give you guys quality stuff instead of continuously blogging about my cat, my penis, or 101 things to do with hubad.

Almost all of the blogs who won the categories I was up for had an overbearing weight of pomposity, or were sponsored by some big-name author, actor or public figure. (Although, I was genuinely pleased Michelle Malkin was booted to the kids’ table for the third year running. My God, do I hate her.)

However, I did win the prestigious “Get A Clue, You Idiot” award from the Perry Institute of Self-Absorbed Writers. It comes with a complimentary “CLONK!” which I found to be very enlightening.

Looking over the sheer number of blogs out there, I'm always amazed that I have as many readers as I do. You guys could go anywhere else, but you come here day after day to see what's new. Thanks to you all, I appreciate every one of you. You keep me honest.

Speaking of Things You Have to Vote On...

If you watched the debates the other night, you saw the third painful installment of what I’m going to refer to from here on out as “The McCain Tragedy”. A man who never belonged in politics was running for election of President of the United States, and his family will probably have to move to Saskatchewan and bury their heads in the Canadian snow for 30 years until someone like O.J. comes along to take the media attention off them.

McCain prepared for this game in an unusual way: He sat on his ass until the halftime show. And from the minute he hit the field, he consistently ran in the wrong direction. Grabbed the ball with both hands and made a touchdown for the other team.

McCain's strategy seemed to be something like “Let me attack by swinging blindly at anything, and I hope to God you don’t have anything meaningful to say in defense, because it’ll make me look like an idiot.”

Obama has had a great combination for his campaign: His family, friends and political advisors have all been pointing him in the right direction, and he’s listened to their advice at every step. To those of us who cannot be bullied, swindled or frightened into a knee-jerk vote for someone we wouldn’t trust our kids around, this is a comforting reassurance that Obama will take more into consideration than just the word of a trigger happy military commander before he declares war on some small middle eastern country with no electricity or running water.

You know, this could very well be a deeply-hidden plot to put Obama in the White House. Think about it; You get someone with Obama’s character, put them side-by-side to a megalomaniacal blowhard who loves to hear himself talk, and just let the chips fall where they may. Shit, even the most inbred backwoods gumbo-swilling bayou inhabitant would notice the difference, in that context. It’s almost as if they’re not only offering us someone who is clearly presidential timbre, they throw in his polar opposite as an alternative. Why not just say “The lady or the racist Bush-clone” and be done with it?

In retrospect, I always find it amusing to see the behavior of candidates around debate time. I truly believe the inner character presents itself, and after three times at bat, McCain has shown he doesn’t have the stamina or steady hand to steer the ship. If you were paying attention, he proved that in the FIRST debate, but you certainly have to concede to it after the third.

If you look around, you’ll have to admit; This campaign has set an all-around record for filth, lying, backstabbing and nastiness to the Nth degree. Obama has been a constant source of integrity in my opinion, and taken the bullshit in stride as he keeps his eyes on the ball. We’re at a brink in this country that most people don’t want to look at. I’m feeling it. I bet most of you out there are as well.

There’s only three weeks left until the election. You have to make your voice heard.

Vote.

It’s later than you think.

Does Anybody Really Think the Fox Network is an Actual News Show?

Have you noticed how out of orbit the Fox News Network has gotten lately? I know, I know, it’s not like they’re in any danger of winning any awards for journalistic integrity, no one ever quoted Fox News and was taken seriously.

Even so, after watching the presidential debates the other night, Fox seems to have dug deep into the well and neglected to bring a ladder with it to crawl out of. They interviewed a black guy on the street, who claimed he wasn’t voting for Obama because he felt Obama wasn’t right for the country at this time.

Well and all, but that was the only person they had on. I mean, it wasn’t something like “We took an independent poll of the everyday American, Joe Paycheck, to see what the man on the street thinks of all this.” In fact, they never said exactly WHERE he was from at all…It was more like “Look! Even the darkies know he’s bad for America! See! We found one here!” The message was loud and clear, for those with the eyes to see it: We can’t let that nigger win at ANY cost.

I’m not saying Fox News has ever managed something vaguely recognizable as responsible journalism, but Jesus Christ, you’d think they would bother to actually read a real newspaper once in a while, maybe see what’s happening in the rest of the world. Hell, call me kooky, but I’d even be willing to bet they could do a show on factual events and stories instead of just making shit up as they go.

Republican mama-san Michelle Malkin is still parroting the same broken-record drivel about Obama she was six months ago, but to a lot fewer viewers. Damn, if there’s one Asian woman who even I wouldn’t touch, you know there’s got to be something wrong!

I always feel like I need a Silkwood-style scrubbing after 10 minutes of Bill O’Riley. Watching him screech at his guests makes me wonder why anyone would bother to be on his show. Or for that matter, why nobody wants him on theirs.

Sensationalism in the media is nothing new. William Randolph Hearst probably raised the bar considerably in his day, but 10 minutes on the cable news shows of any given Monday will top that without breaking a sweat. Channels 44 through 48 are considered the “Dead Zone” in my house, since no information ever escapes it.

Fox News has gone from being that slightly pedophilic uncle that nobody invites to birthday parties to the raging drunk at Christmas that your father and mother have arguments about in the hallway while he slobbers all over the couch speaking incoherent nonsense.

Can you imagine bumping into Sean Hannity 20 years from now? “Hey! You were that guy on that news show, the one who kept insisting he wasn’t a racist! Dude, that must have really sucked for you when they filmed you at that Klan rally.”

*Takes a swig of his ripple* “Gettouttahere, kid. Yer prob…*Mmmrruupp* Prob’ly a fuggin’ LIB’RAL, aitcha?”

It's no use watching almost any of the news reports anymore...The battle lines are severely drawn, and most people know who they're pulling for anyway. At this point, they're all simply pundits for the endorsed network candidate.

Dude..Are You Still A Writer or Not?

Someone asked about Broken Horizon, and why I haven't posted any more short stories. I'll have some more coming out in the next few weeks, I've just had more than a few things on my skillet recently. Don't worry, Maria, Severs and Robbie are still alive and fighting to remain so in the post apocalyptic world of the Scorched Earth. I'm finishing up the extended version of "A Matter of Time", and I just want to make it as good as I possibly can. Call me a perfectionist, but I believe it's what makes me a good writer.

One amusing snag...Science Fiction Analog and The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America have drastically different opinions as to what constitutes a novelette versus a novella, but the story is almost 10 thousand words long so I should be okay by BOTH standards.

Something interesting I heard recently, in an interview with Neal Stephenson:

"If you choose to read a book today, it's not like a hundred years ago, when that was your only option. Today, when you read a book, you're making a conscious decision not to play a video game, not to surf the web, not to watch a movie, not to turn on the TV. It does require a certain discipline to make that decision.…"

It's true, isn't it? There are a million different demands on our attention these days, and settling in with a good book and a half carafe of wine seems like an almost romanticized whimsy to those brought up on X-Box, MTV 2 and Koofy-Snax. Still, there's nothing I like better than opening a good book and falling headfirst into another world. I've been getting into audiobooks lately, because they're something I can listen to while moving on autopilot with something else, i.e. driving, graphic design, video splicing, etc. I am halfway through Isaac Asimov's entire "Foundation" series, and they're great.

It's amazing to listen to this great saga, although the timeline is a bit...Dated, to put it gently. There is an overwhelming degradation of women and a hint of racism scattered throughout the book, and you realize that it's really like looking through a time portal: The first stories Asimov wrote in this universe were published in 1942. Although it's set in the far distant future, there is some language and setup that tends to be a bit eye-opening when you hear it. A lot of Lovecraft suffers from this as well, writing from the time he's in. However, it's worth overlooking for the story itself.

I'm always on the lookout for cool undead paraphernalia, and Think Geek has been a great source for such things recently. This little number caught my eye:

Words Cannot Express the Awesome.

See you all on Monday!