Mad World

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad

So, the French and American forces have successfully, at least to a degree, rescued the hostages being held by the Somali pirates. Well done, promotions all around.

Except, I have a question: Into the lion's mouth with NO GUNS? Are you people in-fucking-sane or what?

I mean, you KNOW you're heading into pirate waters. You know that DOZENS of vessels have been 'jacked in the past few weeks. Would it be so hard to stow some ammo aboard, you know, in case some fuzzy bastard with an eyepatch starts scaling the rigging?

I'm sure the first mate turned to the chief of the watch and said "Boy, some grenades would come on handy right about now, huh?" Hell, they don't even have to go through the military to get them...The fucking Crips are better armed than the police these days, and cut better deals on armament as well.

"The pirates have summoned assistance—skiffs and mother ships are heading towards the area from the coast," said a Nairobi-based diplomat, who spoke on condition on anonymity because he is not authorized to talk to the media."

They have not only skiffs, but MOTHER-SHIPS?? Who the fuck are these pirates, the Borg? Isn't this sort of like sending fat children riding pigs into the forest to fight off the wolves?

You may have not heard about the less-popular rescue, where French forces rescued the family of Florent Lemacon, on his 35 ft yacht. They couldn't rescue Florent, because he had been killed. Maybe by the Somalis, maybe by the armed forces, that part's unclear.

What IS clear, is that he was warned, repeatedly, NOT to sail into the pirate territory by dozens of sources. He ignored these warnings, as his wife put it, "To teach their son about the reality of life."

Um. Yeah. At three years of age, his son's going to have some brilliant images of this little trip, won't he? Bravo, dad. Your wife is now a widow, your three-year old son is now fatherless.

This, in my opinion, is another reason why people need some sort of mental examination before they are allowed to breed. The Frog took his wife and tadpole into pirate-infested waters knowingly, with only a 35 ft single-sail craft, ignoring multiple warnings from his own government. Now, I realize he's French, and much can be forgiven, as far as stupidity goes. I realize that not everybody in the gene pool could be saved. But it takes some special stupidity to screw up THAT bad. I mean, even the French-Canadians aren't that stupid.

Sources say that if he survived the sailing trip through Tortuga, Florent next planned on taking his son deep-sea scuba diving without a tank, to show him "the realities of life underwater without a tank."

Bambi Syndrome: Thinking everything cuddly wants your cuddles.

Anybody hear about that German woman who jumped into the tank with the polar bears at the Berlin zoo? Police say the 32-year-old woman jumped into the enclosure and was bitten several times on her arms and legs by one of the four older polar bears in the enclosure.

Now what the hell was she thinking? Animal handlers at the zoo report she had actually jumped in on purpose, and was swimming TOWARDS the bears when they attacked. I would think that it should go without saying that humans, who are composed primarily of MEAT should never swim with MEAT-EATING ANIMALS. Call it a hunch.

While I'm at it, never jump out of a plane without a parachute, never catch a lawn dart with your teeth, never try to pet a porcupine, and never try to gunfight the Cisco Kid.