Stroke Me, Stroke Me

Give me the business all night long

I was in the dentist's office last month, and the nurse accidentally splashed water on my face when she took the water/suction tube out of my mouth. "Whoops, sorry. didn't mean to give you a facial there."

Now, what she MEANT was that thing women pay for at a spa, where they get a massage around the cheekbones with mud and cucumber slices applied.

What both the dentist and I simultaneously thought was the porn reference. At the exact same time. And we both started giggling uncontrollably.

The nurse was absolutely clueless. "What?" she kept repeating, "What?"

Clearly, she had never really indulged in porn before...Which amazed me to no end.

I read this review of an actress in a porn movie I was going to buy the other day, and it struck me as funny:

"I mean be fair most of her work was fairly inane as far as dialog and plot goes...but she did have that certain charm and quality that trsanscended all"

As far as dialogue and plot goes...You're actually watching porn for fucking DIALOGUE and PLOT?? Are you telling me that you lose your erection due to a sub-par storyline? Tits and ass doesn't do it for you, it's the delivery of the lines...?

What kind of freak are you?

Seriously, are there people out there who critically review skin flicks looking for such things as production values or great writing?

It's PORNOGRAPHY! It's two (or however many) people gettin' it on so the rest of us can get off and go on about our business. It's a masturbation aid, period. It's been around in some version or another since just after the world was destroyed in a flood. (Translated in the book of Genesis as "Who left the water running?)

I would like to know why most female porn stars have something like 44EE breasts and a size 5 waist. Guh, what the hell do you do with all that? Invite the neighbors?

Oh, don't stare at me like that. This isn't high school, you don't have to act like you've never evicted a batch of orphans to something you found sexually stimulating. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable...My next post will be about child abuse.

Is that better?

STROKE!