Gonna Rant About My Droid - X Some More
When the iPhone first came out, it was the atomic bomb-diggity of smartphones. Intuitive, touch-based interface, independent graphics rotation with built-in keyboard and a screen size you could arguably land a space shuttle on. I wanted one desperately...But their carrier was AT&T. I was already on a Verizon plan & didn't feel like paying the extra 40 million to switch.
It was pointed out to me that the iPhone was finally going to different carriers...After four goddam years. Well, as lovely as that sounds, FUCK YOU, APPLE! The differences in smartphone technology are so minuscule at this point, whatever advantages Apple puts into the new iPhone, it won't even register as a blip on my radar. The Droid X does everything I want it to, tons of stuff that I might use - given enough time to do so - and an assload of unmitigated apps that I will never use, not counting the ones you can download.
The only thing it's missing is a sexual organ.
One major downside to me is the software manager that automatically runs whenever you plug your Droid into the computer. "Verizon Vcast Media Manager" is as fat fingered and bloated an OS as anything Microsoft puts out, and easily twice as annoying. It tries to load AUTOMATICALLY every time I plug the phone into the computer, which pisses me off to no end I haven't fully explored all the twists and turns with it - I may set the services to simply unallow it to run & just operate through the USB storage.
And I think we all know how I feel about the fucking autocorrect
The Droid also comes with an Amazon Kindle app. Now, I'm all for this brave new digital age we live in, and I'm happy that some things are more accessible nowadays then when I was a kid...Music, for instance. But I just can't get behind the whole "Digital Reader" wave. The Kindle has come out with a brand new double-paged reader, which is a step in the right direction...However, I'm a man of books, books that don't require I scroll through every three sentences or so. The actual Kindle itself is bad enough, but reading a book on this puny screen? Sorry, I just can't do it. Call me old-fashioned, call me a hopeless romantic, call me a brooding alcoholic with homicidal urges...I just prefer a good book.
You Had Me At Steampunk Ninjas
THERE'S A NEW THREE MUSKETEERS MOVIE!!!
...And I just bet everyone's going to hate it. From the looks of the trailer, it's a kind of twist on a Steampunk theme, shot in 3D. Now, I LOVE the Musketeers, and I mean that in the gayest way possible. I love the story and characters the way Southern Baptists love burning crosses, and I don't care who knows it. The thing is, I'm not entirely sure about this "shot in 3D!" business. I have never - not once, in all my life - seen a 3D movie that really had me thinking "Hey...This looks real!" I just don't buy it. However, aside from starring Milla Jovovich (who is the wife of the director...No, I know what you're thinking, and I'm sure that had nothing to do with it!) the film looks A-Ma-Zing! If it turns out remotely as good as it looks, I'll be happy to overlook the whole "shot in 3D" business.
"Forget it, D'artangan, we're not letting your ugly-assed horse become the "5th Musketeer!""
"I say, Aramis...What's that you're rubbing against my back...?"
IT'S MADE WITH PEOPLE!!
Hey, Sci-Fi geekoiods, have any of you noticed we're living 11 years before the timeline of the supposed overpopulation in the movie Soylent Green? Makes you scratch your head and wonder, doesn't it?
And Finally
Rory Miller and Edwin Voskamp came out last weekend, and after several hours of drinking, swearing, semi-intelligent conversation and a meal of barbecue chicken and Scotch eggs, I got the bright idea to roll a bit with these two spawns of Satan. I'm not entirely sure what possessed me to do this, normally when I'm drunk and still awake, I start singing songs about goblins and trying to mate with the beer fridge. Anyway, I have no memory of the actual "rolling", but when I woke up the next morning I had a cut lip, a sore back and my grape nuts were throbbing...painfully. Musta bumped 'em against something metallic while getting it on with my Maytag, I guess.
And Finally
Rory Miller and Edwin Voskamp came out last weekend, and after several hours of drinking, swearing, semi-intelligent conversation and a meal of barbecue chicken and Scotch eggs, I got the bright idea to roll a bit with these two spawns of Satan. I'm not entirely sure what possessed me to do this, normally when I'm drunk and still awake, I start singing songs about goblins and trying to mate with the beer fridge. Anyway, I have no memory of the actual "rolling", but when I woke up the next morning I had a cut lip, a sore back and my grape nuts were throbbing...painfully. Musta bumped 'em against something metallic while getting it on with my Maytag, I guess.
Until next week - Make sure your S-Foils are locked in attack position and return your R2 unit to its regular, upright position.
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