Fighting the Wolf

My friend Mushtaq has written something deeply moving to me on his blog…Check it out HERE. It’s important, and should be read before this post.

All done? Back to our story.

It's difficult for me to swallow the past seven years and not want a pound of presidential flesh. I feel the way I suspect most of America is starting to feel about our dictator-in-chief: That Fucker Owes Me BIG. But Mushtaq's point is not lost on me, and I am trying to embrace it. I could do it better if I wasn't so adept with a knife. I keep thinking about carotid arteries every time the president gives a national address. And then my wife looks at me and asks why do I have a look like Calvin when he daydreams of dinosaurs running amok in his school?

I started this as a reply to one of Mushtaq’s friends, Aisha, on his comments section. Her question was “How do you think the Rumsfeld resignation will affect the president and his agenda?” and my answer turned out to be longer than I thought she would care for, so I have turned it into this posting. Also, I was already writing a piece on Donald Rumsfeld anyway, so this is a good segue into it.

I laugh at the accusation that Scumsfeld was the “Architect of the Iraq war”. Good thing he’s not the architect of the Cistine chapel, or it would look like a mortuary.

Scumsfeld is to Bush what Wormwood was to Screwtape: A smarmy behind-the-scenes troll who liked to push buttons to see what they would do, but no real longevity for anything. You can look at his track record, so fraught with failure upon failure, and it shows a tendency to jump in the water without measuring how deep it is. Or considering if he knows how to swim. I don’t really think he was ever actually “On Board” with his highness the shrub, just that their mutual goals were heading in roughly the same direction and it gave him Pentagon clearance to play with Godstuff ™ for awhile. Among the many (MANY!) fuckups the Scum miester has to live down, the damning photo of him being buddy-buddy with Saddam Hussein (Remember him? We’re hanging him in a few months for tyranny), shaking hands & laughing over some hookah and slave girls. Any “advice” he gave the president has to be compared with two clowns arguing over the old water-flower trick, or who has the biggest nose: In the end, it’s still two clowns arguing in a circus. Fortunately (or otherwise, depending on your standpoint) he pulled up short of a military tribunal and bailed. It’s no surprise that this took place on the eve of the Democrats overwhelming return to power...As they say in Babylon, Mene, Mene, Tekele, Parsin. You could almost hear his thoughts on Tuesday night: “Oh shit, the Dems are back, I know what comes next…Pitchforks!!”

I do wonder what he’ll do in his spare time, now that he can’t endorse the illegal capture, torture and imprisonment without cause. Perhaps he’ll capture small children and saw their legs off for fun. Kissinger could probably give him some pointers. Also, loan him some East Timorese kids for practice.

If you look at his post-resignation speeches, Scumsfeld has pulled what I am calling a classic Colin Powell maneuver: Backpedaling on almost every stance he took in the earlier years of the Bush dictatorship to paint himself OUT of the corner that he sees getting closer. In fact, I have to say that Colin jumped ship first, Scummy didn’t figure it out until almost too late (He’ll probably get away with the colossal loss of life he demanded in this war), but Bush is still holding on like Dr. Strangelove at 3200 feet above ground zero, cowboying the bomb all the way to the ground.

Bush is slippery as an eel, you can’t really grasp him with both hands. At the end of all this, he may be able to plead insanity and get away with…well, murder. He’ll look at you with that goofy look and say, “Well, hell y’all…I thought we wuz jest funnin’ with them crazy ay-rabs! Who brought the blow?”

As the Bedouin say, “The thing was written in sand”.

Do you know what’s really scary? Look up who constitutes the National Command Authority (also what it’s for), and let me know if it doesn’t cause you to drop a load where you stand.

So all in all, I’m glad Scumsfeld has finally jumped ship. I mean, eight retired generals can’t be wrong. You can’t get that many to agree on military strategy during war.

...Of course, Rumsfeld's replacement is no walk in the park either. A former director for the Christians In Action, his record as an incompetent is nearly as outstanding as the shrub’s. (hey, quick joke: How do you know that the CIA had nothing to do with Kennedy’s death? Ans: He’s dead, isn’t he?) Check out this Congressional Transcript excerpt from 1991.

And looky here pard, he’s President of Texas A&M!! Well, I guess we can all thank daddy Bush for throwing his dust-snorting despot of a son this quickie fill-in to round out the final days of Bush’s reign. Let’s hope he doesn’t try to blame the KGB for the Iraq thing (He thought the KGB was behind the 1981 wounding of Pope John Paul II…Moron.)

In all fairness to Gates, he seems tame enough. At minimum, you probably won’t find any Polaroid’s of him shaking hands with Osama bin Laden. The political bloggers are all in an uproar over this, clinging to Gate’s appointment as the last buoy in a sea that is quickly turning to acid around them. It must be horrifying to go to bed thinking you were a shark and wake up to realize you’re a nekkid woman two miles out with a gash in her leg. And here comes that ominous low-keyed piano theme…

Da-duhn…

Da-duhn…

Dun-da-dun-da-dun-dadundadundadun….

Hey Michelle…Heard any good Republican jokes lately? Besides your blog, I mean.