Since my friend Todd Ellner went out of his way to avoid Santorum jokes in his latest posting at The Toad Abode (and since I simply CANNOT let a sleeping dog lie) I thought I would fill in the obvious cultural gap that was just calling my name.
Senator Rick Santorum gave a post-election speech on Friday night. The incumbent Senator was perfectly rigid in what he called his “moral obligation”, and spewed forth a rich mixture of both rhetoric and monosyllabic nonsense. One wonders where he yanked them from…
“Today, we stand on the rim of the abyss, a gaping maw of Democratic defecation. We have been flipped over, rode hard and put to bed wet. What was once a tightly-closed porthole with "exit only" painted on it, has indeed been stretched to the limits of its accommodation of people constantly switching sides, coming and going, just taking what they want and leaving me to clean up the mess they leave”.
There was a brief Q & A session, sparsely populated by some T & A in briefs: Noted free-love advice columnist Steve Perry threw the first humdinger out at the obviously agitated Senator.
“Senator Santorum, how does your family feel about this, your overwhelming defeat at the hands if the Godless fag-lovers who never served our country and are probably secret communist Muslims?”
“I see this, not as a defeat” he frothed, “but as a necessary pause in the general thrust of our well-lubricated machine! I have mounted a multi-platform assault toward the rear of the Democratic convention, and the impact alone will be felt deeply in our innermost quarters.”
The taboo circumstances under which the previous elections were hijacked, coupled with the dominating method voters were violated by the Republicans makes Santorum’s fecal barrage of senseless ranting almost leaves one feeling penetrated by his large conundrum. Also, he made no sense.
Tiel “packing a cattle prod” Jackson of the Untamed Sisters of the Apocalypse (or “USA”) commented on the Senator’s speech at the leather dominatrix gathering later that evening:
“Fuck him”.
And then she lit up the cattle prod.
2 comments:
Brother, you were either very drunk when you wrote this,
or psychic, as this is exactly what
Man on Dog Santorum sounds like to
me everytime he opens his pie-hole.
"On election day the American people sat down, strained and expelled the last of their Santorum."
Ewwwwww......
Post a Comment